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  • Brian Anderson

Your Emotional Home

I have an important question for you: What is your emotional base of operations?

When your life is neither filled with joy or with unusual pressure, what is your emotional home?

Not when you first wake up in the morning, although that is an important time. Not after a disagreement, or a positive breakthrough with your work. When you are in-between life responsibilities... when you are alone with your thoughts... when your mind and body are on autopilot... what emotion do you most feel?

Is it fear, frustration, anxiety, anger or disappointment?

Is it joy, bliss, gratitude, anticipation, a sense of accomplishment, or a love for life?

Take a moment to figure out what it is for you.

Now that you know what it is, ask yourself what phrase or sentence most represents that emotion. When you are in that place, and in that emotion, what thought do you say the most?

What thought do you repeat, what does your mind say, over and over again?

Now the question is: Is that the emotion, and the go-to thought, that you want to have at the center of your life? Is that mantra what you want as your foundation, your emotional base of operations, your emotional home?

If not, then you can change it. And you can change it right now.

Take a moment to choose the emotion that you do want as your base of operations. Once you have chosen that emotion, think of four or five memories of the past, goals of the future, or other positive images that will allow you to feel that emotion. More ideas will come to you later, so if you can only think of a couple for now, that is fine.

Now, choose a simple phrase or sentence that closely matches that feeling. “I am so incredibly grateful!” “I am so blessed!” or “I love my life!” are a few examples. This phrase is now the foundation of your new emotional home!

And now you are ready to rock, with both awareness and a strategy in place! You will now find yourself more aware when you revisit your present emotional home, and you will be even more tuned into the actual thoughts you say to yourself during these autopilot moments.

When you first return to these moments, you may be at a point when you are not in the best emotional state to address your not-so-empowering thoughts. So, to interrupt the pattern of thought, which is a habit of thought… do something physical with your body for a few seconds to change your state. Stand up, stretch, go for a quick walk, whatever. The more dynamic the action, the easier it will be to quickly change your state.

Once you’ve been able to change your focus and get some empowering chemicals flowing in the body, really begin to focus on feeling your desired base emotion. Start to say, either in your head or out loud, your new empowering statement and envision the images that go along with it.

Once you have done this, you will be well on your way to a new, happier you! You’ve taken the first step! Doing this once, though, won’t be enough. It needs to be done enough times, with enough emotion, that it becomes a habit. New neural connections need to be wired into your brain to take the place of the old pattern of thought.

Considering these thoughts have perhaps been your emotional home for years, it shouldn't be surprising that, as long as you consistently include tremendous emotion, it could take a week to change your emotional base. It could even take as long as a few weeks or even a month. But the change will occur!

And oh man, here we go! As cortisol production starts to diminish and the wonderful neurochemicals start to flourish… your cells will begin to, finally, take a deep breath and relax into the blissful internal chemical environment they were destined for! Your cells will begin to do their job better than they ever have done it before! And that means a much happier, and a much healthier, you!

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